21 October 2026

The Stories That Follow Me Home

Asbi Manoj has worked at St Marys Care Home in Ipswich for three and a half years and is now an acting team leader. She is also a published author, having started writing while at college in India.

In her blog, Asbi shares how listening to residents’ stories helps her understand their experiences, interests and the things that matter to them, supporting more personal care.

There is something beautiful about working in care. Every day, we have the privilege of meeting people with different lives, experiences and stories to share. As a care worker, listening is an important part of how I connect with the people I care for. Taking the time to hear their stories helps me understand their lives, experiences and interests beyond their day-to-day needs.

Every resident has a story, and every story offers an opportunity to learn something new. Sometimes, a conversation can reveal a lifelong passion, a cherished memory or something that brings someone comfort and happiness. These moments show how important it is to see the person behind the care we provide.

Getting to know what matters

One resident once told me, “My dog was my home. He was the best part of my younger life.” Her words stayed with me. I began to understand how deeply a beloved pet can be connected to someone’s sense of home, companionship and happiness.

By listening to her memories, I learned how much animals meant to her. This inspired the team at St Marys care home to introduce animal sessions, with colleagues bringing in their pets for residents to spend time with. Seeing her happiness and engagement during these visits was a reminder that experiences that bring people comfort and joy doesn’t always have involve a groundbreaking new initiative, it’s about thoughtfulness.

Another resident had spent much of her life as a florist and still loved arranging flowers. Once I learned about her passion, we introduced flower-arranging sessions to our activities calendar. She was able to demonstrate her skills, share her knowledge and enjoy something that had been important to her throughout her life.

These experiences show how activities are more meaningful when they reflect residents’ interests, talents and experiences. By listening to residents and finding out what matters to them, we create opportunities for them to enjoy familiar interests, share their skills and continue doing things they love.

I also care for a resident who has written two books. She has encouraged me in my own writing and shared her advice and love of literature with me. Listening to her experiences inspired our team to explore more literature-related activities and improve access to books and library resources. This gave her more opportunities to engage with a passion she knows well and share her knowledge with others. As a writer myself, it has been fantastic to find we have this common interest.

When listening leads to action

Listening is not always about having a long conversation. Sometimes, it means being patient, noticing a change in someone’s expression or giving them the time they need to find the right words. It means allowing residents to lead conversations and showing that what they say matters.

In a busy care environment, it can be easy to focus on the tasks that need to be completed. Making time for conversations helps me understand each person’s preferences, history and personality. I can use this understanding to shape how I approach care and think about the activities we offer, helping us respond to people as individuals.

The stories residents share have also influenced the way I see the world as a writer. I notice the small details: a smile, a moment of affection or the enthusiasm someone shows when talking about something they love. These moments inspire me, but they also give me a greater appreciation of the experiences, interests and memories that make each person who they are..

The stories that stay with us

The stories that follow me home are the ones that remind me of the importance of curiosity, empathy and understanding. They encourage me to keep asking questions, keep listening and never assume I know everything about someone just because I see them every day.

Listening is an essential part of understanding the people we support. Taking the time to hear their stories helps us understand what matters to them and how we can make their care more personal. We may not always be able to change someone’s circumstances, but we can take the time to understand what matters to them and help them feel that their voice is valued.

By taking residents’ stories and wishes into account, we can make our care more personal and create opportunities that reflect who they are as individuals. Every resident has a story worth hearing. Sometimes, the most meaningful thing we can do is slow down, listen carefully and make space for that story.

Taking the time to understand each person helps us build meaningful relationships and make our everyday interactions more personal. And sometimes, those are the stories that follow us home.