How to start positive conversations about dementia

Discussing dementia, and life-changing decisions such as moving into a care home, can seem like a daunting prospect. It’s a topic that some people find uncomfortable or difficult to discuss, and many don’t want to cause distress to their loved ones by broaching the subject.

But the simple truth is that open and honest conversations are a vital starting point to preparing ourselves and our loved ones for what might come in our later life.

Using the right questions and conversation starters can help families begin important conversations in a positive and proactive manner – to ensure the right decisions can be made at the right time, and you so know where to turn for practical information and support.

But, with such a sensitive topic, how should you start those conversations? 

Conversation starter suggestions

Firstly, it's important to involve your loved ones in the discussion, and show them they are valued:

• I’d like to talk about something with you, but first I’d like to get your point of view. Is now a good time? 

Allow a safe space to discuss shared anxieties about the future:

• What are your/our concerns about getting older? What could happen if we don’t do anything about those concerns? 

Plan for the future, addressing your loved one’s preferences for care:

• What kind of place would you like to live in if you were no longer able to stay in your own home?
• What kind of experience would you like to have as you grow older?  
• What kind of experience would you like me to have as I grow older?  

Address how future plans could adapt or change depending on illness or dementia:

• How would you want to be looked after should you become unwell or are diagnosed with dementia?
• How would you want me to be looked after should I become unwell or am diagnosed with dementia?

Starting these conversations early

In having these conversations, it’s also really important to acknowledge that this might be a difficult discussion, or seem far in the future, but that it’s important you’re all on the same page and agree to check in if anything changes.

By starting these conversations early we can make sure the right decisions are made at the right time, and many people get peace of mind form knowing that there’s a plan in place and that they understand their loved ones wishes.